McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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