After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
