I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize