You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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