Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize