WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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