LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
