I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
