can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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