you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
