covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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