I CAN MOONWALK!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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