Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
