Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
