She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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