I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
