I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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