The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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