stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize