Welp...herpes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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