I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
