i barfeds in our rink
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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