i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
