you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you win again, gameday.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
