I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
