I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
