My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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