I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
