I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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