I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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