Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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