I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize