Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
a search helicopter?!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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