Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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