piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
