If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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