We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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