i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
