you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
