If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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