There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dick very happy bro
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
