im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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