In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
