Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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(609): i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier. http://tfl.nu/075q

Replies (14) Good night (4419) Bad night (540)
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(240): View more from Maryland

He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...

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(240): He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow... http://tfl.nu/tod7

Replies (74) Good night (1712) Bad night (12109)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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(919): I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job. http://tfl.nu/800g

Replies (25) Good night (4967) Bad night (3621)
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(619): View more from California

I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.

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(619): I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning. http://tfl.nu/8wyf

Replies (15) Good night (6711) Bad night (1400)
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(845): View more from New York

if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian

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(845): if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian http://tfl.nu/1pnw

Replies (7) Good night (1363) Bad night (2709)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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(828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6

Replies (17) Good night (5611) Bad night (1040)
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(518): View more from New York

and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

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(518): and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis http://tfl.nu/7q4s

Replies (13) Good night (3501) Bad night (1091)
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(802): View more from Vermont

i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.

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(802): i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11. http://tfl.nu/k8vl

Replies (21) Good night (5386) Bad night (2626)
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(801): View more from Utah

Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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(801): Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college http://tfl.nu/xwrm

Replies (8) Good night (2598) Bad night (701)
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(984): View more from North Carolina

i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.

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(984): i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight. http://tfl.nu/cncx

Replies (22) Good night (4235) Bad night (927)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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(905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1

Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (2734)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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(604): You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude.. http://tfl.nu/bx2g

Replies (6) Good night (2765) Bad night (544)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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(770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7

Replies (9) Good night (989) Bad night (1367)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....

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(403): Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on.... http://tfl.nu/blut

Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (658)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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(508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2

Replies (0) Good night (308) Bad night (153)

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