It's like God shit irony all over that family
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.