the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.