We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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