She announced her abortion via fbk
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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