If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
