I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
