Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
