I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
