I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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