Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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