I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
