she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
